Brothers...Sisters

Today,all of a sudden just looking at a student in Tsun Jin which his facebook name is Jason Goh, sitting beside his brother, taking a break at the canteen after volleyball practice. Not really know these two students since I am not from Tsun Jin volleyball team, considered strangers to me. Well, I just envy the way they look, not because they are more nice looking or look smarter, but just feeling "why on earth two person can look alike".

Talking nonsense, both of them are birth brothers.Well, sure we don't need to even introduce when you have a birth brother or sister standing beside you, your look and his/her look explain almost everything, the connection the both humanbeing have,... "you guys are brothers, you girls are sisters".
Ya, you two share almost the same height. Ya, you two share almost the same eyes, nose, cheek, hair style, brains, whatever body parts you can mention. Something similar, having the sense of belonging to one another, something in common to compare the differences....to compare from the common and to mention the differences? Sounds contradict and funny...

The most important part is having the same blood flowing in different bodies...

Yup, that's the most important part, the blood, the covenant that ensures no matter what on earth that will be happening to you guys, or you girls, like it or not, it will never change the fact that you guys and you girls will always be still brothers and sisters, from the same womb, being taught under the same roof.
How I wish my mum and her "should be" firstborn on year 1991 made it through during then.
Then when we guys both standing beside each other will know we are somehow related in some ways without any introduction. I really wish to have the sense of belonging and bonded to someone around my age.

Of course, I am still glad to have my mum and dad, but I hungry for more than that...I need someone to fight, I need someone to argue, I need someone to also fight then cooperate and find a solution so everyone can be happy....perhaps, I am really lacking of this kind of experiences, and this explains why I am quite a narrow-hearted person.
Will find ways to change in future, hope my future girlfriend changes me.

I was Food Poisoned...but it was great!

Obviously cheap stuff will always bring some inconveniences to the people who greed for them.
Well, Father's day, a day to show our appreciation to our dearest father, so mum gave a really wrong suggestion to eat a steamboat dinner in Seri Kembangan, Serdang. That dinner only cost me RM 13.80 per person, sounds worthwhile. Yup, it is cheap and that's why my mum suggest that to me since it was me to "belanja" them in this occasion. It was cheap but it was also dangerous.The steamboat set up was like a korean steamboat style which you can cook your seafood in two ways, first way you sizzle it or you just do it the usual way, dip the raw into the hot sup.....the setting was so lousy and hot oils will keep on spilling everywhere and sometimes it gets to your face.... the place was not air-conditioned, hot like hell, smoky smoky and smeeeelllyyy!!!! A suck environment to have your dinner where you need to wipe your sweats on and off with your arms....

Okay, dont mention the place was lousy, mention the after-meal incident on the second day, my stomach started twisting my body on the bed....feel like to puke in any moment and you are so not okay when you stop turning your body around here and there....shit like hell and vomit three times....ahhhhh....feels comfortable after doing those stuff when you see and you will definitely lose your appetite...anyway, eventually I wake my father up in the middle of the nite to seek doctor so I can get some relief.....
Well, my father definitely feels like a nice father that nite cus he helped me to feel better by boiling hot water and mixing the electrolyte drinks for me....i feel being loved...cuz hardly I am treated that way...not from him....feels real good..
I think I will really miss being loved in such ways from parents when I will study abroad in less than a month...I hope I wont home sick much during then...

I am really a movie maniac.

Well, I really do blame myself of putting myself so vulnerable to movie addiction.
Downloading many up-to-date hong kong series into my 500GB  external hard disc. And quitting my job earlier means letting myself doing nothing. Well, it was kinda guilty cause I told most of the people I need to fully utilise my remaining time to prepare for my university academic stuff. However, movies are still  better options. I even forget my bedtime and try to finish at least 10 episodes a day, end up nose bleeding though.That was too much .MAN!!!
Anyway, it is good to do these crazy stuff once a while since I wouldn't have that kind of chance in future of being so not me. Entering NUS means study harder than any other students from other colleges in order to survive.
In order to kick off such addiction, I have to borrow A Levels Math and physics from college friends in order to get myself well prepared and not to get left out easily in the beginning of the semester. Well, hope I am able to at least start do something really meaningful start from now.
All the best to my own.

One of the best moments in Life

These are the last few hours I actually have a working desk in Tsun Jin High School.
Packing stuff and clearing the desk for the new Math teacher to take over the place.
At first, I can't wait to quit the job so I would eventually have more time to do my own stuff, preparing myself for university, going for vacations, hanging around more with friends for the last few months before I continue to study.
However, right now I have a second thought, having the feelings that are the opposition of what I assume myself would go through at first. I really feel reluctant to quit the lifestyle of being force to wake up early in the morning before the sun shows himself, I really miss the days when I can really joke around with those kids, they are genuine in every feelings they express with no doubt that is the only place you can guarantee a genuine blessing, a genuine smile, genuine tears, and genuine compliments. I doubt I can find these genuine stuff in the "real society".
Well everything is going to an end, it is time to end my school life. I thank God for the extended school life He gave me, which most of my friends ended this kind of experience 6 months ago after they graduated from Tsun Jin.
Thanks to those kids that told me I did well in teaching, Thanks to those kids that said "You are the best teachers I ever met till now", Thanks to those kids that cry for my absence, Thanks to those kids who loves me much, Thanks to those kids who gave me gifts of appreciation, Thanks to every single genuine words of blessings from the kids before I leave them.

To the students in J1B, J1E, J1G and J1J,
I love you guys and the farewell was one of my greatest moment I have in this lifetime.Thanks to you guys from the depth of my heart

We change

Over the 5 months in year 2011, I realize human can really change. No exception, everyone changes.


I change from choosing medicine course to electrical engineering. I change from interested in some buddies and eventually end up not even really want to meet up with those buddies. I change from "pretend to be humble" and become really "proud of who I am", which cause many people thought I am a boastful person, which is definitely not true. Definitely has no intention in pulling anyone down by lifting myself up. All of a sudden I like sports, all of a sudden I like Japanese, all of a sudden I like to be alone more than hanging around with friends. Changing into someone better or worse in different ways. Obviously, I guess those who change a lot mainly are those who have not really discovered themselves, have not realized what are the things that they are passionate with and will drive them crazy , and have not discovered what are the things that are really significant to them.

However, I believe each and everyone of us has a destiny, we meant to appear in some areas which we can discover who we truly are. And, in order to reach that, I believe the process our of changes are necessary for our self discovery. It is definitely a bullshit to become a believer of  "Rich Dad , Poor Dad". Don't understand why must anyone believe in 100% in that book. Come on guys, that is not GOD okay? I don't deny that it is a good book, the idea or philosophy that the book brought out, is just for reference. Not all human is meant to be someone in the society in the same way, no definite way. It is our own effort to discover who we truly are by our very own experiences we gone through every single choices and changes.  

If I were 13 again...

Well, I know most of the people will like to be in my shoes. Being awarded as the "Most outstanding student award", being in one of the Top Ten in UEC Bio and Eng, being able to be the "stage man" who always goes up and collect certificates from the VIP of the committee board of Tsun Jin or headmaster. At the end of the day, this fame is just temporary, to emphasize that again,IT  IS JUST SOME STUPID FAME! This satisfaction will not last, not even half a year. Now, I realize how stupid are those who want to squeeze themselves at least to be a candidate of "Most Outstanding Student" in school. The BIG round of  applause for you, your name being lifted high and your photo being able to occupy the space of some board in front of the school hall. It is really nothing, you gain fame just a little while and it is really nothing.

If I were 13 again, I would want to be in one of the sports training team, who can participate in competition together with a team, (especially the volleyball team in tj), a team where you can find true friends, friends that I will eventually still able to remember during my sixties,  working as a true team and bring back some victories together, not individually. I think this friendship that is being built through this process is really lasting as it goes through hardship, and most importantly the trust you have for your teammates, it is all those elements that a true friendship should get through. Honestly, every time I pass by some students who are training together, I really wish I could just change into my sports attire and join them, other than just looking at them. Perhaps this is one of the interest I really have during my school life but it is really late to realize this now. It is just a stupid idea, pursuing all those "Most excellent student" awards, which I really do feel nothing right now, not even really proud of that also. I should have go for what I am interested, follow what my heart want during the past few years, but not trying to get FAME....it is temporary, it is just a deceptive candy...feels good at first but blinded you from what really suits you...

It is not that only the sports team can provide true friendship, i can't deny I find true friendship in other ways, in my previous band i do have friends that i like most, but it is the feeling of there is a place(sports team) i should be in and the environment  I really desire. Well, i ended my secondary school life in the way that don't really please me, but perhaps I can make some differences in university. Still it is not a regret to go through that kind of high school life, it is just another different gain.

15/3

Today I realize, everything needs a balance. Like it or not, balancing comes automatically in any ways.
And today is the forth day of school break, I am really doing craps over the past few days and I find myself getting bored with movies, internet games, sleeping all day. There is an overflowing emptiness in me that drives me start studying again since I have quit that kind of lifestyle for a few months. I really start flipping through some medicine encyclopedia, it should have bored me, but eventually it doesn't. I don't know why it is kinda interesting reading boring stuff. 

On the same time, I am spending a lot of my time with my best friend lately( the one whom I have been keeping in touch with every now and then, and meeting at least once a week). We watched many movies which are very interesting and indeed impressing. We go shop for nice stuff we need together (very awkward to say "shop", cause we guys don't really like those stuff"). We hang around at the "mamak" stall at late night. Life doesn't really bored me to death with this friend.

But I slowly I find things that should be interesting is going lame and boring, and I feel something that should be lame and boring is kinda gaining my attention and I am really attracted to it. Does that mean I grown old? Or it is just a normal reaction when you have been enjoying the same kind of lifestyle so long and you just need some 'refreshment'? Something new, something you wouldn't have loved but you start loving..Just like people who eat salty food everyday, and they wish there will be a week they can just grab a carrot and drink tap water?...ya, I think the last explanation will be the conclusion.