Well, I know most of the people will like to be in my shoes. Being awarded as the "Most outstanding student award", being in one of the Top Ten in UEC Bio and Eng, being able to be the "stage man" who always goes up and collect certificates from the VIP of the committee board of Tsun Jin or headmaster. At the end of the day, this fame is just temporary, to emphasize that again,IT IS JUST SOME STUPID FAME! This satisfaction will not last, not even half a year. Now, I realize how stupid are those who want to squeeze themselves at least to be a candidate of "Most Outstanding Student" in school. The BIG round of applause for you, your name being lifted high and your photo being able to occupy the space of some board in front of the school hall. It is really nothing, you gain fame just a little while and it is really nothing.
If I were 13 again, I would want to be in one of the sports training team, who can participate in competition together with a team, (especially the volleyball team in tj), a team where you can find true friends, friends that I will eventually still able to remember during my sixties, working as a true team and bring back some victories together, not individually. I think this friendship that is being built through this process is really lasting as it goes through hardship, and most importantly the trust you have for your teammates, it is all those elements that a true friendship should get through. Honestly, every time I pass by some students who are training together, I really wish I could just change into my sports attire and join them, other than just looking at them. Perhaps this is one of the interest I really have during my school life but it is really late to realize this now. It is just a stupid idea, pursuing all those "Most excellent student" awards, which I really do feel nothing right now, not even really proud of that also. I should have go for what I am interested, follow what my heart want during the past few years, but not trying to get FAME....it is temporary, it is just a deceptive candy...feels good at first but blinded you from what really suits you...
It is not that only the sports team can provide true friendship, i can't deny I find true friendship in other ways, in my previous band i do have friends that i like most, but it is the feeling of there is a place(sports team) i should be in and the environment I really desire. Well, i ended my secondary school life in the way that don't really please me, but perhaps I can make some differences in university. Still it is not a regret to go through that kind of high school life, it is just another different gain.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
15/3
Today I realize, everything needs a balance. Like it or not, balancing comes automatically in any ways.
And today is the forth day of school break, I am really doing craps over the past few days and I find myself getting bored with movies, internet games, sleeping all day. There is an overflowing emptiness in me that drives me start studying again since I have quit that kind of lifestyle for a few months. I really start flipping through some medicine encyclopedia, it should have bored me, but eventually it doesn't. I don't know why it is kinda interesting reading boring stuff.
On the same time, I am spending a lot of my time with my best friend lately( the one whom I have been keeping in touch with every now and then, and meeting at least once a week). We watched many movies which are very interesting and indeed impressing. We go shop for nice stuff we need together (very awkward to say "shop", cause we guys don't really like those stuff"). We hang around at the "mamak" stall at late night. Life doesn't really bored me to death with this friend.
But I slowly I find things that should be interesting is going lame and boring, and I feel something that should be lame and boring is kinda gaining my attention and I am really attracted to it. Does that mean I grown old? Or it is just a normal reaction when you have been enjoying the same kind of lifestyle so long and you just need some 'refreshment'? Something new, something you wouldn't have loved but you start loving..Just like people who eat salty food everyday, and they wish there will be a week they can just grab a carrot and drink tap water?...ya, I think the last explanation will be the conclusion.
And today is the forth day of school break, I am really doing craps over the past few days and I find myself getting bored with movies, internet games, sleeping all day. There is an overflowing emptiness in me that drives me start studying again since I have quit that kind of lifestyle for a few months. I really start flipping through some medicine encyclopedia, it should have bored me, but eventually it doesn't. I don't know why it is kinda interesting reading boring stuff.
On the same time, I am spending a lot of my time with my best friend lately( the one whom I have been keeping in touch with every now and then, and meeting at least once a week). We watched many movies which are very interesting and indeed impressing. We go shop for nice stuff we need together (very awkward to say "shop", cause we guys don't really like those stuff"). We hang around at the "mamak" stall at late night. Life doesn't really bored me to death with this friend.
But I slowly I find things that should be interesting is going lame and boring, and I feel something that should be lame and boring is kinda gaining my attention and I am really attracted to it. Does that mean I grown old? Or it is just a normal reaction when you have been enjoying the same kind of lifestyle so long and you just need some 'refreshment'? Something new, something you wouldn't have loved but you start loving..Just like people who eat salty food everyday, and they wish there will be a week they can just grab a carrot and drink tap water?...ya, I think the last explanation will be the conclusion.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
For March
March just reminds me I am about to get another year older...that's all?
Well, cannot be "that's all"..
I am really touched by my student whom I gave them tuition for almost a month...
These students are really simple..They believe in every single word I have told them..
They really believe I can't give them tuition on Saturday just because I want to go after some girls to see if any of them are suitable to be my girlfriend and perhaps future wife...but the fact is, I am just a lazy head who doesn't want to teach on weekends...
I see "simplicity" in these younger friends..they remember every words I have told them and took them really seriously...even when I am talking craps...they just believe...
Man!!! These people really have faith in me...and that really motivates me to teach them better...Now, i DO REALLY want to help them to score A in math UEC ...they are good students and perhaps to me...are very special friends...Friends that barely even know me for a month but have shown care and being so friendly...
They bought me a birthday chocolate cake and playing a fool with me by adding extras "stuff" into my cake...
First time in my life I tasted three kinds different taste in a cake....luckily they didn't kill my digestion...
Friends that barely know me...remember my birthday ??? and friends that have known me for long dont??
Sounds a bit ridiculous...
Three of these students plan a surprise for me...and did an early celebration because they may not have the chance to meet me on my birthday...they said they didnt finish their assignment and spend two nights designing a very special birthday card (it's a list of hot chicks which i find most of them disgusting) for me...well, i really really appreciate that...that hand made card is obviously showing that those students put in a lot of effort...
all in all, when I have grown up', it is really hard to find friends that are simple and selfless.... these three younger friends really really did make me miss the simplicity of being a friend showing his/her concern to one another...
Well, cannot be "that's all"..
I am really touched by my student whom I gave them tuition for almost a month...
These students are really simple..They believe in every single word I have told them..
They really believe I can't give them tuition on Saturday just because I want to go after some girls to see if any of them are suitable to be my girlfriend and perhaps future wife...but the fact is, I am just a lazy head who doesn't want to teach on weekends...
I see "simplicity" in these younger friends..they remember every words I have told them and took them really seriously...even when I am talking craps...they just believe...
Man!!! These people really have faith in me...and that really motivates me to teach them better...Now, i DO REALLY want to help them to score A in math UEC ...they are good students and perhaps to me...are very special friends...Friends that barely even know me for a month but have shown care and being so friendly...
They bought me a birthday chocolate cake and playing a fool with me by adding extras "stuff" into my cake...
First time in my life I tasted three kinds different taste in a cake....luckily they didn't kill my digestion...
Friends that barely know me...remember my birthday ??? and friends that have known me for long dont??
Sounds a bit ridiculous...
Three of these students plan a surprise for me...and did an early celebration because they may not have the chance to meet me on my birthday...they said they didnt finish their assignment and spend two nights designing a very special birthday card (it's a list of hot chicks which i find most of them disgusting) for me...well, i really really appreciate that...that hand made card is obviously showing that those students put in a lot of effort...
all in all, when I have grown up', it is really hard to find friends that are simple and selfless.... these three younger friends really really did make me miss the simplicity of being a friend showing his/her concern to one another...
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Gonna be a month in Tsun Jin being a Math teacher..
Can't believe I am really really doing what I am doing so far...
After the day I graduated, being a teacher in Tsun Jin is the last thing on my list that I wanted to do in my
GAP Year...
Can't reject what my headmaster have requested...Just have no better reason or excuse to say "no" to him..
Help out our school which has nurtured us till who we are today seems to be an obligation but not an option.
It is like a debt...I have to repay this school...well, honestly... 60% of me hate this, but I always remind myself to be a good human being to repay anyone who has already done something good for me or help me even once....I can't be so cold blooded to just leave the problem of the shortage of math teacher to all the teachers in Tsun Jin who already have enough trouble to deal with everyday...well, although the salary is not high, however at least I have a fixed working hours...a safe place to work...a place where I can always see my juniors and know whats going on with them...and experience my throat out of order because of the little monster that I have to face everyday...it is still an experience which I will not have the chance to gain in future if I just give it up now...I should have been grateful for this chance given...
Well, at least after I quit my job, I can say I have cleared part of my debt in Tsun Jin....at least I did something for you Tsun Jin...
After the day I graduated, being a teacher in Tsun Jin is the last thing on my list that I wanted to do in my
GAP Year...
Can't reject what my headmaster have requested...Just have no better reason or excuse to say "no" to him..
Help out our school which has nurtured us till who we are today seems to be an obligation but not an option.
It is like a debt...I have to repay this school...well, honestly... 60% of me hate this, but I always remind myself to be a good human being to repay anyone who has already done something good for me or help me even once....I can't be so cold blooded to just leave the problem of the shortage of math teacher to all the teachers in Tsun Jin who already have enough trouble to deal with everyday...well, although the salary is not high, however at least I have a fixed working hours...a safe place to work...a place where I can always see my juniors and know whats going on with them...and experience my throat out of order because of the little monster that I have to face everyday...it is still an experience which I will not have the chance to gain in future if I just give it up now...I should have been grateful for this chance given...
Well, at least after I quit my job, I can say I have cleared part of my debt in Tsun Jin....at least I did something for you Tsun Jin...
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Nightmare?!! Not really, it could have been worse than this..
Every new year eve, I will spend my time at home..watching movie..listening to firecrackers which I can't really see them ...but only listening to them.. sharp at 12.00a.m.
This year, my new year eve was....M I S E R A B L E ....
Everything seems great at the beginning...I managed to buy my working clothes in the Mines..
Accompanied by my best friend Kent, and we have had fun watching Gulliver's traveller...stupid but funny comedy..My friend managed to be employed by Nando , in the Mines...RM6/hr pay...which is not bad....he was happy with that, because eventually, he was able to work partime...first time in his life...not just working for his dad...:)...his first trial...first experience...
In the evening ..we spent time in Hui Yen's house, eating steamboat, playing mahjung, talking about what our future will be in five years time...cause this will be our last gathering and then, gradually there will be separation, all pursuing our own studies overseas and some locally...Don't even know when will be the next time we will gather again...:(..
When the clock ticked to 12am, we played with the tiniest firecraker I have ever seen...on floor..=.=..
However, after that, we were entertained by the nice fireworks released by the rich family who owns a four storeys bunglow..
On the way back, the nightmare begins!!!!!
First, car tyre punctured in the middle of the highway....not just a highway, it's a dark highway, no lamp that may function!!!Not even one....luckily we have torchlight in the car...THAT, really saved the day...a Big , Sharp screw ,spoilt one of the tyre...
Well, then just change the tyre and use the spare one..no big deal.....we are just afraid of some robbers just set whole thing up...to get to us....fortunately, we didn't see anyone suspected near the car....but we were still afraid...
Okay, the tyre problem was fixed, now what, the car battery ran out!!!! what in the world!!! why all bad things happened all at once??..this time, we would have to use our torchlight as a signal to let the vehicles that may come from our back to know there's a car in front of them, cause they couldn't see as it was DAMN DARK!!!! Btw, I was a prey to the mosquitoes.....why they like me more than my friend??!!! NOT FAIR..
...Well, not all cars with loud rock music are driven by the bad guys...that morning, around 2.45am, a car came to us, with DAMN LOUD ROCK MUSIC , and offer us help, but we refused his help and thanks him, Thank God he is not the robber!!!!!
Around 3.40am, my friend's sis came to our rescue...we managed to get the battery recharged and we were both home safe......
Btw, on this particular day, a news reported some teenagers car broke down in the middle of some road and eventually some robbers took the opportunity to rob them, one of them have one of his arm chopped down..and then ended handicapped..
Well, things weren't great in the early morning to me and my friend in year 2011...but it could have been worse than that..
At least, we are safe and peace without any harm....just being scolded by mum and dad...but no big deal...
It's a lifetime experience which others wouldn't have that kind of chance to experience that..
We're glad these things happened...it's suck but...we like it...it's the memory that only we both share too...NOT BAD~
This year, my new year eve was....M I S E R A B L E ....
Everything seems great at the beginning...I managed to buy my working clothes in the Mines..
Accompanied by my best friend Kent, and we have had fun watching Gulliver's traveller...stupid but funny comedy..My friend managed to be employed by Nando , in the Mines...RM6/hr pay...which is not bad....he was happy with that, because eventually, he was able to work partime...first time in his life...not just working for his dad...:)...his first trial...first experience...
In the evening ..we spent time in Hui Yen's house, eating steamboat, playing mahjung, talking about what our future will be in five years time...cause this will be our last gathering and then, gradually there will be separation, all pursuing our own studies overseas and some locally...Don't even know when will be the next time we will gather again...:(..
When the clock ticked to 12am, we played with the tiniest firecraker I have ever seen...on floor..=.=..
However, after that, we were entertained by the nice fireworks released by the rich family who owns a four storeys bunglow..
On the way back, the nightmare begins!!!!!
First, car tyre punctured in the middle of the highway....not just a highway, it's a dark highway, no lamp that may function!!!Not even one....luckily we have torchlight in the car...THAT, really saved the day...a Big , Sharp screw ,spoilt one of the tyre...
Well, then just change the tyre and use the spare one..no big deal.....we are just afraid of some robbers just set whole thing up...to get to us....fortunately, we didn't see anyone suspected near the car....but we were still afraid...
Okay, the tyre problem was fixed, now what, the car battery ran out!!!! what in the world!!! why all bad things happened all at once??..this time, we would have to use our torchlight as a signal to let the vehicles that may come from our back to know there's a car in front of them, cause they couldn't see as it was DAMN DARK!!!! Btw, I was a prey to the mosquitoes.....why they like me more than my friend??!!! NOT FAIR..
...Well, not all cars with loud rock music are driven by the bad guys...that morning, around 2.45am, a car came to us, with DAMN LOUD ROCK MUSIC , and offer us help, but we refused his help and thanks him, Thank God he is not the robber!!!!!
Around 3.40am, my friend's sis came to our rescue...we managed to get the battery recharged and we were both home safe......
Btw, on this particular day, a news reported some teenagers car broke down in the middle of some road and eventually some robbers took the opportunity to rob them, one of them have one of his arm chopped down..and then ended handicapped..
Well, things weren't great in the early morning to me and my friend in year 2011...but it could have been worse than that..
At least, we are safe and peace without any harm....just being scolded by mum and dad...but no big deal...
It's a lifetime experience which others wouldn't have that kind of chance to experience that..
We're glad these things happened...it's suck but...we like it...it's the memory that only we both share too...NOT BAD~
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
My new start in Tsun Jin...
Over the last six years, I stepped into Tsun Jin as a student...
In less than a week, I am going to be going in as a temporary teacher..
Feels weird, my first time...and it's going to be my last time..since I have determined to be a doctor...so, I don't think i will have any other opportunity to work in other fields other than the medical field after graduating from a medical school...
Wondering how am I going to manage the form 1 students...
They may not be the same as what I was back 6 years ago...Very different...
This group of new students can handle multitask , they may know things much more than teacher does, they are prone to distraction since many cool things around could have drawn their focus away from study..
Teachers may not know their language...Language that can drive them to listen and focus on the teachings..
It's a new challenge...It's a different start...And I think it will be fun and I may love it...
As long as I place my heart and mind in this new task...I believe I can enjoy and learn much more from it...better than I can ever imagine...although the pay is not high working in Tsun Jin ......XD.....
In less than a week, I am going to be going in as a temporary teacher..
Feels weird, my first time...and it's going to be my last time..since I have determined to be a doctor...so, I don't think i will have any other opportunity to work in other fields other than the medical field after graduating from a medical school...
Wondering how am I going to manage the form 1 students...
They may not be the same as what I was back 6 years ago...Very different...
This group of new students can handle multitask , they may know things much more than teacher does, they are prone to distraction since many cool things around could have drawn their focus away from study..
Teachers may not know their language...Language that can drive them to listen and focus on the teachings..
It's a new challenge...It's a different start...And I think it will be fun and I may love it...
As long as I place my heart and mind in this new task...I believe I can enjoy and learn much more from it...better than I can ever imagine...although the pay is not high working in Tsun Jin ......XD.....
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
22/12/10
Today...It's definitely my day!!!!
This morning just don't know why my mind just woke up by itself..at 7.00am...
well, I know I am anxious about UEC result but it's just 7.00am!!!! not even 9am...close your eyes and just sleep ...don't think much.....enjoy your bed!!!!...well, when it reached 9.02am.....the mind..woke up as if got shocked again......."sms to find out the result...why wait?!!!!"...
this was how I read my sms....I covered my phone screen with my palm and then and move down slowly once at a time.....as if..those who are gambling...enjoying the nervous atmosphere ...not knowing what digit/or letter it would appear after your every slight movement...damn.....A1....OK, its good......A1 again!!!!damn good !!!!A1 AGAIN!!!!...welll, pls let that continue.!!!!!!!...moving slowly......arh!!!!!!!!...A2 !!!!!???? what's the sub??? ADD MATH(2).....OMG.....well...I just gave up that kind of excitement and I look through everything immediately!...well...not bad....only an A2....At that moment...screaming like psychopath on bed....wondering if my neighbour will get worry....sounds like being raped....haha who cares.....its a sound of awesomeness...celebration......
Thank God for that result.....it's the kind of result I have requested...I prayed for the result will be at least 8A1s for myself a night before....God heard it!!!!...By the way, I agreed I deserved an A2 for add math(2)...cause I am not that kinda nerd who is so into math....more on BIO...great morning ..great start.!!!...
Looking forward to celebrating that achievement now...can't wait....yeah!!! good job -->to myself!!
This morning just don't know why my mind just woke up by itself..at 7.00am...
well, I know I am anxious about UEC result but it's just 7.00am!!!! not even 9am...close your eyes and just sleep ...don't think much.....enjoy your bed!!!!...well, when it reached 9.02am.....the mind..woke up as if got shocked again......."sms to find out the result...why wait?!!!!"...
this was how I read my sms....I covered my phone screen with my palm and then and move down slowly once at a time.....as if..those who are gambling...enjoying the nervous atmosphere ...not knowing what digit/or letter it would appear after your every slight movement...damn.....A1....OK, its good......A1 again!!!!damn good !!!!A1 AGAIN!!!!...welll, pls let that continue.!!!!!!!...moving slowly......arh!!!!!!!!...A2 !!!!!???? what's the sub??? ADD MATH(2).....OMG.....well...I just gave up that kind of excitement and I look through everything immediately!...well...not bad....only an A2....At that moment...screaming like psychopath on bed....wondering if my neighbour will get worry....sounds like being raped....haha who cares.....its a sound of awesomeness...celebration......
Thank God for that result.....it's the kind of result I have requested...I prayed for the result will be at least 8A1s for myself a night before....God heard it!!!!...By the way, I agreed I deserved an A2 for add math(2)...cause I am not that kinda nerd who is so into math....more on BIO...great morning ..great start.!!!...
Looking forward to celebrating that achievement now...can't wait....yeah!!! good job -->to myself!!
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